12 Weeks

At 12 weeks, we had a bit of a  . . . surprise, which turned out to be great!  I won't call it a scare, because I was honestly at perfect peace the whole time.  I had a bit of bleeding one night.  After consulting my many trusted books, I was convinced it was nothing because I had no other symptoms, but we agreed I would call the nurse the next morning regardless.  That morning was Thursday, and Jason's car was in the shop.  We were planning to leave at noon for Birmingham anyway, so he took me to work and then headed back home to mow the yard before we left.  I was completely sure the nurse would say it was nothing to worry about as long as it had stopped.  Instead, the response I got was that Dr. Phillips likes to bring you in for an ultrasound in any case of bleeding.  Um, ok!!  So she made me an appointment for that morning.  Jason wound up barely having time to take a shower before heading back downtown to pick me up.  By the time I had gotten to work, called the nurse, waited for the return call, gone to my morning meeting, explained to everyone what was going on, wrapped up what I could, and headed out the door to the doctor, I didn't even have a chance to contact my family to tell them what was going on.  I sent a quick text from the waiting room.  This turned out to be a good thing, as my mom and sister were rather worried.  Fortunately, they didn't have long to wait - I think my appointment was at 10 and we were back in the car by 10:20. 

Our first ultrasound was at 7 weeks, and this is what we saw:

Awww . . . but, admittedly, a bit of a blob. 

So imagine our joy, 5 short weeks later, to see this:

A baby! Head, body, arms, legs, hands!!  Of course, we had been reading the weekly emails about the development of the limbs, etc, but there is just nothing like seeing it for yourself.  What a miracle!!  The baby is about 2.5 inches long at this point, about the size of the picture.  And yet so formed.  How great is our God?!

All this happened in the middle of the "be here now" revelation, and what a great example of that principle it was.  The night before, getting the lawn mowed before we left town seemed like such a big deal, but this sure put it in perspective!  We were even done at the doctor in enough time to run across the street to the hospital for a visit with the Bagwells and sweet baby Campbell, whom we had thought we would not get to see for another week or so. 

What a nice surprise this turned out to be!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

Be Here Now . . .

I've been meaning to post this for several weeks, because it made such an impact on me.  After a crazy-busy August, Jason and I were sooo excited to have Labor Day weekend at home.  He had not had a day off in the month of August, and we looked forward to going on a date, watching football, and not doing much else.

The weekend turned out even better than we hoped - wonderful, enjoyable, relaxing.  We even got to spend a few hours with family celebrating Paul J's new job at the University of South Alabama.  It was everything we hoped for, and Monday night we were so relaxed and peaceful.

And then something happened.  Tuesday, we went back to work.  And life hit again.  He was preparing to leave for Tres Dias on Thursday, I was preparing to spend the weekend in Birmingham, work had just piled up while we were out, and all the stuff we had escaped over the weekend came right back.  Several times, I caught myself thinking, "I shouldn't have relaxed all weekend.  I should have been working on this or that.  This is what I get."  I shared with Jason that I just felt like the most important things in life weren't getting my attention like they should.  He agreed.  It was a very stressful week and struggle to find peace.

As He has done so many times, God provided me with some direction from one of my college girls.  We weren't even talking about my stress when she shared this:  "Quite possibly the best thing I ever got out of counseling was the idea of being here now - I was almost never in the now - I was always regretting something from the past or planning something for the future.  And the worst part was {my daughter} was always in the now, as all children pretty much are.  So it was like I was never really connecting with her because she could tell when I was there physically and not mentally.  I would encourage you to start eliminating everything that is not essential and top priority until you start to feel like you can live in the moment.  Try to be here now as much as you can."

Wow.  That made such an impression on me.  And the other girls, I know, so I thought some of you readers might need to hear it too.  When I really started praying on this, God was faithful to help me eliminate some things right away, even though I didn't necessarily want to.  I am definitely still seeking some further clarification and answers on some of the busy-ness that seems to consume my time.  The Bible tells us that the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace (Romans 8:6) - that is the mind I want!

"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life- whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear.  Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds.  They don't plant or harvest, or store food in barns, for your Heavenly Father feeds them.  And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?  Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow.  They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care of you.  Why do you have so little faith?
So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat?  What will we drink?  What will we wear?'  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
Matthew 6:25-34

11 Weeks

I'm not promising to post a picture every week. In fact, I'm rather horrified by these first two. But I feel like 11 weeks deserves a post for a couple of reasons:

1. I have a doctor update to go along with it.

2. This is the week I felt like I really started showing.

Week 10, I was breezing along, definitely knowing I had gained a couple of pounds, but still wearing SOME of my "skinny pants" for the last time . . . well, maybe ever. Then I wore dresses for a couple of days. Then, on Friday, I pulled out a pair of pants to wear to work. They were too tight. Uh-oh. Another pair. Same problem. Another pair - they were workable. But by the end of the day, I definitely knew it was the last time I'd be wearing them. All of the sudden, my closet seemed full of clothes that did not fit. I did get confirmation from some friends that no matter how grateful and excited you are to be pregnant, not fitting into your clothes is an emotional experience. I ventured into the maternity store on Saturday . . . oh my. So overwhelming. The belly that promises to add 3 months would seem to be perfect - if I ONLY gain weight in my belly! Which hardly seems like something I can count on (upon which I can count, if I'm being grammatically correct, but I feel like the blog should have a more conversational tone, don't you?). I did come home Saturday afternoon and reorganize my closet; separating the stuff I already can't wear so it's at least not at eye level anymore. And I am the proud owner of a Bella Band (well, the Target brand anyway) which seems will be very helpful. This last week, I've just worn skirts, since those fit so much more easily. When we finally took the 11 week picture, I expected a huge difference from the week before. I can't believe you can barely tell!

My doctor appointment was Tuesday. I was not entirely sure what to expect, but I was prepared with a list of questions. Jason had to be at work, but we didn't think he would miss too much. I finally now understand the difference between an ultrasound, a doppler, and a stethoscope. When we had our ultrasound, I was surprised at how fast it was - as soon as she turned the machine on, we could immediately see the baby and see the heartbeat. I was expecting a waiting, holding our breath, are-we-going-to-be-able-to-hear-it experience. Now I realize that comes from the doppler, which is similar to a sound-only ultrasound. The nurse still rubbed the wand over my belly, but with no picture, she's just searching for the heartbeat. And it took a few minutes to find it. And a few more minutes for me to be able to recognize what she was hearing. But at 11 weeks, both she and Dr. Phillips said it's great to be able to hear it at all, so I was very thankful. It was pretty fast - around 155 - 160, I think? I didn't think of that as being a detail I should write down, but so many people have asked me, I guess I should have! Otherwise, the appointment was uneventful. Dr. Phillip's says everything looks great. I asked my list of questions, and was on my way. Next appointment, Oct. 4!

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." 1 Peter 3:3-5